By Natasha O’Sullivan, Fertility Counsellor
If you're reading this, you're probably in the thick of it — the 14-day wait. It's a uniquely difficult part of the fertility journey. After weeks (or sometimes months) of being supported and guided through every stage of treatment, suddenly… you’re just waiting. No appointments. No updates. No distractions.
And for many, this is when anxiety hits the hardest.
As a fertility counsellor, I’ve seen how much this wait can bring up — fear, vulnerability, hope, doubt, and often, a deep longing for certainty. So I wanted to share a few thoughts and techniques that I hope will help you ground yourself through this emotionally intense time.
Why Does Anxiety Feel So Loud Right Now?
Anxiety often shows up as an overwhelming mix of thoughts and emotions — stress, panic, overthinking, restlessness, trouble sleeping, a need to control or “figure things out.” It can be exhausting.
What’s happening is your nervous system is trying to protect you. If you've been through pain or uncertainty before (and most people on this journey have), your body learns to see “not knowing” as a threat. So it responds with worry and control — as if worrying enough might help you avoid disappointment.
But here’s the truth: we can’t safeguard ourselves from every outcome. What we can do is learn to sit with uncertainty, and gently teach our bodies that it's safe to pause. This moment isn’t empty — it’s meaningful. You’re interacting with the world in a way that is brave, hopeful, and deeply human.
1. Learn to Use the Pause: The R.A.I.N Technique
The two-week wait is all about the unknown. And for those of us who are used to action, productivity and planning, being forced to “just wait” can feel unbearable. That’s why I love Tara Brach’s R.A.I.N technique — a simple practice for navigating emotional moments with mindfulness and compassion:
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Recognise what’s going on
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Allow it to be there — don’t push it away
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Investigate with curiosity and care
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Nurture yourself with kindness
You can try it in a quiet moment, or even mid-anxiety spiral. Let your feelings be present, without judgment. Breathe. And be gentle. Here’s a short video that walks you through it.
2. Support Your Nervous System With Routine
Your brain and body are connected — when your body feels more supported, your mind tends to follow. These small but powerful lifestyle habits can help reduce stress and bring you back to balance:
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Eat well – Focus on whole foods and enough protein (about 1g per kg of body weight).
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Prioritise sleep – A cool, dark room, consistent sleep/wake times, and a gentle wind-down before bed really help.
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Move your body – Aim for 10,000 steps a day. Being in nature — near water, trees, or in a park — is especially healing.
Don’t underestimate these small daily choices. They help anchor you when everything else feels uncertain.
3. Use Your Body to Calm Your Mind
Sometimes, we try to “think” our way out of anxiety — but the real magic often happens in the body. If you're feeling overwhelmed, try one of these tools:
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Cold water on the back of your neck (stimulates the vagus nerve and calms the nervous system)
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Breathwork – I recommend starting with meditations by Jon Kabat-Zinn
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Movement – Yoga, Tai Chi, and Pilates can all help release tension
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Walking in nature – Especially helpful for clearing mental noise
You don’t have to commit to a big practice. Just start small. A few minutes a day can make a difference. Watch this short video.
4. Speak Kindly to Yourself: Affirmations That Help
During the wait, your inner critic might get louder. You might start second-guessing your body, your choices, even your hope. This is where self-compassion becomes so important.
Try placing a hand over your heart and repeating a few affirmations, even if they feel a little uncomfortable at first:
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I release my fears and embrace trust in this process.
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I acknowledge my worry, but I also acknowledge my strength.
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I am grateful for my body and all that it’s carried me through.
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I am surrounded by love and support.
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I trust that I’ve done my best.
The words we speak to ourselves matter. Let yours be words of comfort, not pressure.
Watch this guided meditation for those preparing for an embryo transfer during the IVF process.
5. Create a Self-Compassion Plan
Compassion is something we often offer to others with ease — but struggle to give to ourselves. So here’s a gentle reminder: if you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself.
Make time for things that bring you comfort, even if they feel small or indulgent. A warm drink. A good book. Knitting. Baking. Walking. Singing. Resting. Whatever helps you feel grounded, connected, and soothed — prioritise that.
To help with this, I’ve created a Sensory Inventory Worksheet. It’s a practical tool that lets you identify soothing experiences for each of your five senses — sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell — so you can build your own self-soothing toolkit.
Download the Sensory Inventory Worksheet
Take a few minutes to fill it out. You might be surprised by how powerful your senses can be in helping you feel more grounded.
You’ve already shown such courage by walking this path. You don’t need to do or prove anything more right now. You are enough, exactly as you are.
Final Thought
One of my favourite reminders is this:
“Anxiety is like a rocking chair — it keeps you moving, but gets you nowhere.”
You’re not doing anything wrong by feeling anxious. This journey asks so much of you. But there are ways to find calm, even in the waiting.
You don’t have to feel “zen” or “positive” all the time — just be real, be kind to yourself, and know that this pause is part of the process.
And if you need a little extra support during this time, I’m here. You don’t have to do this alone.
With love,
Natasha
Resources I Recommend:
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