Meet D & J
D and J have been together for sixteen years. Their story began when they met through mutual friends while D was travelling in Latin America. After a time navigating long-distance love, they eventually settled in Ireland over a decade ago, where they now share a life filled with family, friends, travel, and their beloved cats.
Beginning the Journey
Starting a family was always in their hearts, but they wanted to build a strong foundation first.
“We always knew we wanted children, but it was important to us to travel, buy a home, and grow in our careers first.”
When the time felt right, the couple began exploring their options—and shared motherhood stood out immediately.
“J had always known she wanted to create a family this way. Shared motherhood was a clear choice for us. It gave us both the chance to be part of the journey, biologically and emotionally.”
They created a five-year plan to align their goals and timeline, especially mindful of age and fertility as a same-sex couple.
Choosing Shared Motherhood
Deciding who would carry and who would provide the egg was a conversation marked by mutual respect and love.
“We decided that we would both go through the process. J would go first, and D would carry our second baby. This way, we both get to experience the connection and the journey.”
For D and J, shared motherhood meant more than a clinical process, it was a way to fully embrace parenthood as a team.
“It’s an incredible experience to watch the person you love grow a baby from your embryo.”
The decision came naturally. “Once we understood the science and the process, we were sold.”
Choosing a Donor
The donor selection process was, unexpectedly, one of the most emotional parts of their journey.
“Opening the donor website for the first time was overwhelming. It took us a couple of months to find someone who felt right.”
They prioritised health history and personality over physical traits, wanting someone whose background aligned with their values and hopes.
“Making the decision together was easy, we were aligned. But the volume of profiles and the emotions involved made it harder than we expected.”
Their advice to other couples?
“Set aside regular time to go through donor profiles together and talk openly about what matters most to you.”
Creating Embryos
The egg collection and fertilisation process came with its highs and lows. D underwent egg collection first, followed by J, whose first cycle unfortunately didn’t result in embryos.
“It was a huge emotional blow,” they shared. But with strength and perseverance, J went through two additional cycles, both of which created viable embryos.
They now have 8 healthy embryos stored.
“The 5-day wait after fertilisation was the hardest. But the joy and relief when we got that final call from the embryologist, it’s indescribable.”
Looking Ahead
After one failed transfer, their second embryo transfer was successful, and their baby is due in just a few weeks.
“We can’t wait to meet them.”
They also look forward to sharing their story with their child, celebrating the role science, support, and love played in bringing them into the world.
“We’ll tell them about Dr. Florencia and the amazing nurses at ReproMed, about how same-sex couples sometimes need a little extra help—and how modern medicine and kind people made it all possible.”
Reflections & Advice
The journey has brought D and J even closer together.
“We made a promise to go to every appointment together, every scan, every blood test. It’s made us stronger as a couple.”
Their advice to others?
“Be present. Enjoy each step. Do your research and talk about what you both want. It’s a special journey, and going through it together makes it even more meaningful.”
And for those worried about the emotional rollercoaster?
“We heard so many things like ‘The hormones will make you crazy.’ But honestly, we were both surprised by how calm and connected we felt. Everyone’s journey is different.”
Thank you, D & J
D and J have kindly allowed us to share their journey under their initials and have even shared a special ultrasound image. We’re incredibly grateful for their openness—and their hope that by telling their story, other couples might feel more informed, inspired, and supported as they begin their own.
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